I Am Still Learning Self-compassion

Purple flowers

When loved ones are going through some challenges and they confide in you, do you try to comfort and soothe them? Or do you roll your eyes and make them feel like they are unworthy and that they deserve to go through these hardships? I am hoping it would be the first one. Adding in a warm hug would be nice too.

If we can be compassionate to our family and friends, why is it so hard to do the same to ourselves? Why do we always like to put ourselves down? I believe it’s because we have been so used to self-criticism, that being compassionate to ourselves sounds foreign.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield

Self-compassion is just like compassion towards other people. It is treating yourself as you would a loved one when they are going through a difficult time. Self-compassion is being kind, gentle, understanding, and accepting of yourself, regardless if you’ve been great or miserable. It is about not judging yourself when you fail or make mistakes. It is believed that self-compassion can be good for one’s resilience to be able to cope with tough times. It can decrease feelings of anxiety, depression, shame, and inadequacy as well.

Although I may be all about self-love, I can still be my own harshest critic. Setting high standards for myself has always been the norm, ever since I was a child, and I would feel bad when I fall below my own expectations. The key thing is to give myself permission to fail and be imperfect, because it is inevitable. I should consciously allow myself to be human and give myself some room to rest, breathe, and be unproductive once in a while. Easier said than done, and it is a skill that can be slow to learn. But being mindful of how I speak to myself is one of the first steps towards learning self-compassion. So yes, be kind, not just to others, but to yourself as well. You deserve it. 💜


One thought on “I Am Still Learning Self-compassion

  1. Maria, you are right. We all fall into the trap of harsh self criticism. I also find that for a lot of people, there is an inner voice. An inner voice that says things like “you are not good enough”, “you would never be enough” etc. There is that inner critic and a harsh one at that. However, this is what I always tell people, that voice in us is not the voice of God, it is the voice of the world. We believe the things that we see in society, we let the media control our minds. We believe that such a thing as the perfect life exists, and we want everything to go smoothly all the time. However, that is not always the case. In all truth, when we have God in our lives, a lot of things go smoothly, because God can warn us of things to come, and of paths that we should not take. However, the presence of the storm does not indicate the absence of God. God is there to be with us in time of trouble and to deliver us. However, the key to living a great life is to work hard (at the things we do, and on ourselves), and to hold on to the promises of the Lord. We also should learn to pray to God and to tell him of the areas where we struggle, and to ask for his help. Nothing is impossible for God to do, and his mercies are great enough for us. A relationship with the Lord begins with faith in the Lord, prayers to God, obedience to the Bible, and a passion for Christ. God is ready, the question is, are you?
    Here are a few bible verses to encourage you:
    The Bible says in Philippians 4:6
    “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done”.
    The Bible says in Matthew 7: 7-8
    “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened”.
    God says in Isaiah 41:10
    “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand”.
    God says in Jeremiah 29:11
    “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”.
    If you do not yet have a relationship with the Lord, I would strongly suggest that you begin one. There are a lot of blessings that comes from knowing the Lord, and being in fellowship with him. If you already have a relationship with the Lord, that is good, keep believing and working to deepen your relationship with him, and I am sure that he would come through for you somehow.
    If you want to know about God in more detail, you can find further information here https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/10/23/a-few-things-that-i-have-learned-about-god/ And Here https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/
    May God’s blessings be with you, Amen. ❤ ❤

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