Recently, I got a day off from work just to spend a slow, quiet day at home. I’ve been having headaches, and I felt exhausted. My body, mind, and heart have been telling me to slow down and reassess my life. Although I don’t work overtime, I would always feel emotionally and mentally drained after work. I even lost inspiration to write content for the blog. Was there something about my work that was affecting my happiness, or was something making me unhappy and it has started affecting my work?
On my day off, I slept in, and then took my time to eat my breakfast. I haven’t felt this energised in the morning in a long time! I cooked some food, did some writing for the blog, did some journaling, and then slept again. It was a boring day, to say the least, but it was just what I needed. I needed some time alone, and 12 hours of sleep 😂
I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions. What are you feeling? Why? What are you trying to escape from? What would make you happy? Don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely blessed to be able to work full time, and it’s actually a good job. I guess I’m just trying to find some purpose (not just at work, but in life), support, meaningful relationships, and a lot of rest.
When the Mister came home from work, I asked him, “If you could be anywhere in the world tonight, where would you want to be?” And before he could answer, I had an epiphany. I didn’t want to be anywhere. Even being in Paris, or the US, or Japan, or even back in the Philippines wouldn’t make me any happier, and I realised why. I wanted to be in the future. I wanted to live my future dream life, and I am missing the now. Having realised that didn’t make me any less miserable, but it gave me a lot to ponder on.
What if I just enjoyed where I am today? Yes, this is far from what I envisioned myself to be doing in the future, but there are a lot of good things going on in my life right now, and I should be thankful for them. It’s easier said than done, but I will try my best to become more appreciative of my blessings and celebrate how far I’ve come.
Anway, enough rambling! Hope you all have a great weekend! 💜